Therapy is a relationship…allow me to introduce myself!

My story

I have always had a love for people, especially the underdogs of the world; the people who sat alone in the classroom, the street musicians who others walked past, the villains in the movies…I think these were early traces of the path I would one day find as someone who just wants to know and understand where people are coming from. That and…well…I also struggled for many, many years with my own mental health

I’ll spare you the details for the sake of this extremely public website, but my intention is to let you know that I get it. I’ve been there. The hopelessness. The shame. The endless repetition of cycles of trauma that intellectually you know are harmful but can’t seem to change them.

I also know, from experience, that it is possible to go from the pits of despair to living a meaningful life. It didn’t happen overnight, it took work (it still takes work) but it has been a journey so beautiful I can’t help but to feel passionate about sharing what I’ve learned with others. In the end, I have become a more resilient and compassionate person on this side of the healing journey than I ever would have been if I had never faced adversity. I approach this work with genuine passion and the steadfast belief that every person deserves the kind of support I was given.

My approach to therapy

I have invested a lot time, energy, and money into becoming the most informed and educated therapist that I can be- I am currently completing my Ph.D, already hold a Masters and Bachelors degree, and have extensive trainings under my belt. Intellectually, I know my stuff, and I promise to bring my expertise to our work.

But all that being said, what underlies my therapeutic philosophy is that I am actually NOT the expert in the room…you are.

When I first started practicing, I put way too much effort into educating my clients, with the hope that if we could get an intellectual grip on what was happening, that change would soon follow.

I have grown a lot since these early days, and now what I know is this: change happens when a person’s system feels safe enough to be fully known, safe enough to be vulnerable, safe enough to take a risk outside what has been familiar.

This is not an intellectual endeavor, it is a deeply relational and embodied one. If you have tried therapy before and found it unhelpful and maybe even a little bit invalidating to be told that if you can just change your thoughts, you will see results- I hear you, and your experience is not unusual, especially if you’ve experienced trauma. 

So, with all that being said, I approach therapeutic work as a relationship to be built. Yes, I have knowledge and I will absolutely share it with you when helpful, but I’m not here to lecture you.

I’m here to get to know you, to understand you, and accept you. This may seem woo-woo to those who want quick step-by-step results, but I assure you: a deep and compassionate connection with another human who is able to regulate their own nervous system in order to stay fully present with yours is what healing is all about. 

But if you still want a step-by-step breakdown, here it is:

  • First, we explore your history, your challenges, your strengths and your environment to get a clear and contextualized picture of who you are and where some of your symptoms may be coming from.

  • Collaboratively we will create some goals and explore treatment options-usually some eclectic blend of Internal family systems, somatic work, EMDR, ACT, and mindfulness. 

  • No matter what interventions we use, the foundational goals are the same: create safety in the therapeutic relationship, and then work to create safety within-this involves emotional regulation strategies so that you feel in control of the only thing you can control-yourself.

  • Then, we can go deeper, reprocessing traumatic and/or troubling life events that left wounds that still hurt today. Together we will go at whatever pace you need to go in order to stay within your window of tolerance (in other words, in order for you to feel safe). Slower is faster when it comes to healing trauma. If we push too hard too fast, we risk causing more harm. I won’t do this to you. 

  • Once you feel your goals have been met, it’s up to you. Many clients stay with me for years, finding that regular therapy is an invaluable part of their health routine. Others may decide that they have gotten what they need from the space and “graduate”, always welcome to return if they need it. This is your choice. I will never try to force you out or pressure you to stay. Once we are working together, I am here for you.

Outside of work

A little about my Ph.D work, because I’m a psychology nerd- I am doing my dissertation research on the psychological dimensions of the menstrual cycle, going beyond the typical framing of PMS symptoms as “pathology” and instead exploring ways to reframe this narrative; listening to the body as wise, symptoms as signals, and healing as cyclical, rather than linear. My ultimate goal with this work is to find ways to expand the field of psychology and therapy to be more cyclically-informed, better serving menstruating individuals and ultimately, the Earth (because let’s be honest, this treating our bodies and our planet like a machine to be relentlessly extracted from isn’t the final evolution of human systems!!)

As much as being a therapist and activist for people and the Earth is important to me, none of it would be possible without balance. For me, that looks like a LOT of outdoor time-hiking, camping, swimming in the beautiful lakes/rivers of Northern California, hugging trees (yes, really, I have no shame), and admiring the moon. Creativity is also a big part of what makes my life feel full, and I do my best to keep the spark alive through painting, writing poetry, crafting, and reading (historical fiction and fantasy are my faves!). Music is a huge part of my life, and going to a live show or a music festival with my friends and letting my body move to the beat will forever be one of my favorite things (it’s not a phase! I will be dancing into old age!!). I’m also recently married to the love of my life, who just so happens to also be a therapist, and spending time with him and our two amazing kitties is my happy place, wherever that may be.